The Marvel Cinematic Universe has always made it their goal to have their movies as appealing to the general public as much as possible, including children, which makes sex scenes from the comics face a truth that will always be present: they will NEVER make it on screen.
Sex scenes between superheroes are rare in movies and TV shows, and they mostly just appear in films and TV shows with R-Rating and porn parodies, but Marvel comic books have featured sex scenes in comic books, and some are too weird or just too wrong to be adapted into live-action.
Here's a look at 17 of Marvel's craziest comic book sex scenes that we'll most likely never see on the big screens:
She-Hulk & Juggernaut Break The Entire Room
The image says it all. She-Hulk and Juggernaut break the bed, the floor, the wall, the entire room! And Dan Scott broke our hearts when he said it did not technically happen in comics canon. Now that's "hard" core!Advertisement
In UncannyX-Men Vol. 2 #8, a sub-mariner's idea of a diplomatic mission involves getting it on with the Queen of a race of sea-worms.
When Hope says, "Ick! You didn't really Imperius Sex her", Namor's reply is that a gentleman and a king must always be discreet about such things.
Luke Cage's Anal Sex With Jessica Jones
In the Alias comics, Jessica Jones experienced anal sex with Luke Cage. The combination of anal and interracial was too intense for Marvel printers in Alabama, who initially refused to print the comic.
The couple still got it on in the Netflix series, but there's no indication that they did it from behind. Who knows? Maybe it will happen in a future episode of Jessica Jones or Defenders.
Iron Man and Black Widow Make A Sex Tape
In Marvel's Ultimate universe, Iron Man and Black Widow made a sex tape together, and it leaked because the security system was hacked. And that happened after she was killed by Hawkeye for having murdered his child.Advertisement
Spider-Man Gets Molested When He Was A Boy
In the Spider-Man and Power Pack comic, a young Peter Parker and Skip Westcott became best pals, hanging out, working on projects together, and in general, giving Peter an older friend he desperately needs, but he ends up being molested. We never see what actually happened to them but we know that it was disturbing. Skip got away with the whole thing, and Spidey never took revenge, but he used the experience to help others in similar situations as the comic was designed to teach kids how to report sexual abuses.
Sabretooth Eats Bloody Meat While Having Sex With Mystique
In this scene from Uncanny X-Force #31, Sabretooth and Mystique get it on while smearing each other with raw bloody beef. Getting between the sheets with the shape-shifting beauty Mystique is the ultimate alpha-male fantasy even though this was written like fan-fiction. Bleeding Cool even called it "THE single worst-written scene in the entire X-men line this year." But who could resist Mystique and juicy meat altogether?
The Hulks Have Sex in Public While A Giant Eyeball Man Watches Them
In Incredible Hulk #7.1, Hulk and alter-ego Bruce Banner have been separated because of a brain surgery by Doctor Doom. In this issue, The Hulk and Red She-Hulk have sex in public while a giant eyeball man watches them.
That's not incest, however. She's Banner's lover, Betty Ross. Hulk doesn't mess with his cousin until the alternate future of Old Man Logan.Advertisement
A Mutant With Orgasm Powers Seduces Iceman
Chuck Austen's X-Men introduced Stacy X, an employee in a mutant brothel, who could control the pheromones of others, and used her power to give men the most intense climaxes of their lives without taking a piece of clothing off.
In one scene, she incapacitated Iceman by licking his neck and making him have an "accident" in his pants. We'll never see this on the big screen but maybe in an X-Men porn parody.
Deadpool Makes Love in A Coffin
In Deadpool Vol. 3 #44, Deadpool makes love with his wife Shiklah in a coffin.
It's just a man and his wife having sex, so this sounds like the most normal one in this list, but who could forget sex between an immortal tumor mutant and a shapeshifting monster?
Well, at least in the film, Deadpool's sex scenes happened pre-mutation.
Peter Walks in On Aunt May in Bed
May re-married J. Jonah Jameson Sr., the father of Daily Bugle head J. Jonah Jameson. The couple got married in Amazing Spider-Man #600, but they got it on before that, as shown in an explicit scene in Amazing Spider-Man #592, when Peter Parker went to Aunt May's house to change his costume. After removing his costume and preparing to wash it, he heard rumblings in his aunt's bedroom. When he opened the door, he saw May and Jay Jameson having sex.
If you think Marvel's move to make Aunt may younger and sexier in Captain America: Civil War just so that Robert Downey, Jr. could flirt with her, was unpleasant, just imagine if this made it on the big screen.Advertisement
Green Goblin Seduces Peter Parker's Barely Legal Girlfriend
In J. Michael Straczynski's Amazing Spider-Man run, the barely legal Gwen Stacy cheated on Peter Parker by having an affair with Norman Osborn, a.k.a. Green Goblin. Instead of just telling us about what happened, the comic explicitly showed us Gwen writhing in pleasure with the villain. Gwent eventually went to Europe to give birth to twins who grew to adulthood in just a few years. Marvel Studios and Sony will never bring the Sins Past storyline nto the big screen.
Wolverine Pleasures Magneto's Wife
In Marvel's Ultimate Universe, Magneto had a wife named Magda, but another mutant had sex with her before the two were married, and that mutant is Wolverine. When Logan was injured at one point, she took her in and they engaged in sex.
This made fans doubt later on the true parentage of Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch.
Speaking of the siblings...check out what's next on this list.
Brother and Sister Make Love While Wolverine Watches
The "Twincest" between Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch was hinted during Mark Millar's Ultimates run but Jeph Loeb confirmed that the twins were lovers in Ultimates 3. This was shown in shadowy flashbacks, but it gets weirder when Wolverine was shown hiding in the bushes, watching them make love. The later-revelation that Wolverine could be their father makes this scene more twisted.Advertisement
Emma Frost Seduces Cyclops And Cosplays As His Wife
During Grant Morrison's New X-Men run, Scott and Jean had marital problems, and it got worse when Cyclops turned to Emma Frost for comfort. Strangely, that resulted in the pair having a full-on telepathic affair (pretty much mind sex). To make things crazier, Emma dresses up as Scott's wife during their sex so she could help him fulfill the fantasies he couldn't with his wife.
Ms. Marvel Gives Birth To Her Own Rapist
In 1978's Ms. Marvel #19, written by Chris Claremont, Carol Danvers finds herself pregnant with a baby that reaches full term in three days, and she has no memory of who the father was. She eventually learns that her child is Marcus, the son of the alien Immortus. He used a combination of a mind-control machine and attempted seduction to impregnate her with himself, so he can free himself from semi-Limbo. After being reborn as a human, he eventually aged into adult Marcus again, and they went to an alternate dimension together.
Ant-Man in The Wasp
In Avengers #71, Hank Pym, a.k.a. Ant-Man shrinks himself so he could go inside his girlfriend Janet Van Dyne, and when he comes out of her, he's dripping with moisture. Because of that, the issue got a rare "mature" rating. With Disney owning Marvel, and Ant-Man being a family-friendly movie, of course, we'll never see this happen in the movies.Advertisement
Spider-Man's Radioactive Sperm Kills His Wife
Spider-Man: Reign showed us a fascinating look at one of Spider-Man's possible futures, but the story is now remembered for the craziest reasons. There was a scene that shows Peter giving up being a superhero after the death of his wife Mary Jane Watson.
Apparently, he was responsible for it due to his radioactive sperm. It turns out that every time they had sex, he was infecting her with radioactive fluids, eventually killing her in a horrible way. On top of that, Peter confessed all of this while cradling his wife's rotting corpse. This is definitely one of the strangest sex moments in Marvel comics history, and Sony and Marvel Studios will never bring this to the big screen.
Note: All images featured here come from Marvel Comics.