There are superpowers out there that are just so awesome almost everyone wants them. Who hasn’t dreamed of flying? Or being super strong? Or having the ability to turn back time. But the world of comic books is a vast and strange place and there are some superpowers that are just downright bizarre. There are unlucky heroes and villains blessed with superpowers you can’t believe anyone even thought of or that have no discernable purpose. Here’s a look at some of the strangest.
Matter Eater Lad's Powers
When it comes to weird superpowers the legion of superheroes is a minefield. Possibly the most famous weird superhero among them is Matter Eater Lad.
Intoduced in 1962, his real name was Tenzil Kem and his power was the ability to eat…anything. He could eat and digest all matter. The origin of his ability is just as bizarre as the ability itself. On his home planet, some pesky microbes made all the food inevitable, so his people evolved to be able to eat all matter because that is definitely how evolution works.
Writers had a hard time making Matter Eater Lad useful in stories (I mean, conceivably he could just eat the bad guys, but that’s a bit too gruesome) so he was often shoved to the side. One time he totally ate this supposedly indestructible machine to save everyone though, and all the weird mojo in it drove him insane. And you thought your digestive problems were unpleasant.
Zeitgeist's Powers
The mutant Zeitgeist has one of the grossest powers you could ask for. Real name Axel Cluney, he was introduced in X-Force #116. His power is the ability to vomit acid. Just get him drunk and watch him go. No, really, his power first manifested when he was drunkenly making out with a girl, threw up on her and badly burned her face. She apparently survived but needed serious plastic surgery.
Axel still had nightmares about this, but can’t remember the girl’s name. Dude, when you vomit someone’s face off, it’s only polite to make an effort to learn who they are.
The acid he barfed could burn through ten centimeters of steel in 30 seconds. He wore a special mouthpiece in and out of costume to do damage control.
Zeitgeist met a grisly end when the lower half of his body was blown up. On the upside, he managed to remember the name of the girl who’s face he fried before he died.
Arm Fall Off Boy's Powers
Arm Fall Off Boy is another Legion member, who was probably intended to be a parody of Matter-Eater Lad. His real name is Floyd Belkin and he was introduced in 1989. His ability is exactly what his name implies- he can make his arm fall off and then he whacks people with it. Even the Legion of Superheroes thought this power was too silly and he was immediately rejected when he tried out for the team. He made another attempt in a later continuity, and somehow made it to the try-out finals before falling apart- literally.
Fatman the Human Flying Saucer's Powers
Van Crawford’s superpower was that he was fat…and could turn into a flying saucer. Why these two things were supposed to be related is unknown, but judging from his name they go together. After he helped out a shapeshifting alien, the alien thanked him by giving his a chocolate drink that blessed him with the ability to transform into a “human flying saucer”. He can fire some rad alien energy beams in that form, at least.
Possibly one of the weirdest things about Fatman was not just that he exists, but that he had his own comic. Fatman, The Human Flying Saucer #1 debuted in 1967. What’s more, it was the creation of C.C. Beck, the artist behind the much more well-known DC hero Captain Marvel (now known as Shazam). This is what Beck chose to do after he couldn’t do Captain Marvel anymore. It’s quite a transition.
Maggott's Powers
If you thought Zeitgeist’s power was gross, the X-Man Maggott will really give you a run for your money. His real name is Japheth and he was introduced in 1997. In place of a digestive system, Maggott has two giant slugs. The inside of his stomach is totally hollow, two slugs just chill in there. The slugs will bore their way out of his body and digest any solid objects in their way, Matter-Eater Lad style.
The slugs then renter his body and transfer all the energy they gained from their feast into him. This gives him superpowers- namely, enhanced size, durability, stamina strength and some level of psychic ability. It also turns his skin blue and his eyes red for whatever reason.
The slugs even have names- Eany and Meany. It’s nice that he’s such good friends with them.
Eye-Scream's Powers
Eye-Scream has an incredibly strange but incredibly delicious superpower. Introduced in 1983, Eye-Scream made a decision to attack the X-Men because he thought their cool powers made his look stupid. It’s easy to see why- his power is the ability to turn into ice cream. Not just ice-cream, but any flavor of ice cream he wants, including banana split. He snuck into the X-Mansion by sliding around as melted ice cream, but was easily foiled when he was frozen solid.
The most tragic thing about Eye-Scream has to be that he’d have to battle the urge to eat himself. Now the ability to turn OTHER things into ice cream, that would be a rad power.
Mr. Midnite's Powers
Mr. Midnite is a mysterious hero- even his creator is unknown. He debuted in 1939 in Silver Streak Comics. He was a “wealthy young sportsman” named Neil Carruthers. He puts on a tuxedo, a top hat and a domino mask so he can fight crime with class. His catchphrase-command was “stop time”! You might thing this would mean he’d have an ability to stop time or something, but don’t be silly. Mr. Midnite couldn’t do anything to the flow of time, but he could stop clocks nearby from working with his powers. Stopping criminals- by giving them one tardy slip at a time! It’s not surprising that the poor guy only lasted for two six page stories.
El Guapo's Powers
El Guapo, whose real name is Robbie Rodriguez was introduced in X-Statix in 2003. His power was his bond with a sentient, flying, superpowered skateboard. Or rather, his abusive relationship with the sentient, flying, superpowered skateboard. The thing actually beat the crap out of him because it had a crush on his girlfriend once. Still, it was a pretty useful weapon and he even decapitated someone with it once. Eventually, his legs were blown off by missile. After that, his skateboard acts more like a super-rad wheel chair, transporting him wherever he need to go.
Alas, Robbie’s greatest strength would be come his greatest weakness. He accidentally hummed a cursed song while flying around on it, causing him to crash into a wall. He was then impaled by his own skateboard and died. Ouch. However, he was later seen flying on his skateboard in heaven, so I guess there were no hard feelings.
The Great Lakes Avengers' Powers
The Great Lakes Avengers has a multitude of folks with silly powers. One big example is Flatman. His power? He’s two dimensional. The guy is as flat as a piece of paper. If he stands at the right angle, he’s practically invisible. He’s thin enough that he can slip through any spaces. But most amazing of all has to be his power to turn himself into origami. He can make himself into an origami frog, an origami crane…and pretty much any shape he wants. As bizarre as it is, that’s pretty handy…and artistic! He can also stretch out parts of his body and is often mistaken as Mr. Fantastic as a result.
Before you feel too sorry for Flatman, apparently he can assume a three-dimensional shape if he chooses to. He just doesn't do that very often.
Another member of the Great Lakes Avengers, Big Bertha, is a woman who has the ability to be super fat. No flying saucers involved this time. She does become superhumanly strong and even bulletproof whenever she balloons up though, so that’s handy. Then there’s Doorman, who has the ability to turn into a sort of door-like portal which people can go through to teleport themselves- but only as far as the next room. He does gain a lot of cool powers later on through, like the ability to collect the souls of the dead.
Then there’s Squirrel Girl, one of the most well-known weird heroes. She can talk to squirrels. She also has squirrel-like agility, enhanced strength, etc. Surprisingly,the ability to communicate with squirrels has allowed her to take down villains like Doctor Doom and even Thanos.
The Red Bee's Powers
The Red Bee has the ability to attack with trained bees. It’s weird, but not that weird- until you find out in some versions, he also has guns that shoot bees at people instead of bullets. And also had a favorite trained bee he named Micheal and kept in his belt.
His grand-neice Jenna eventually took up his mantle and had more impressive powers to boast of- they included a battle suit and giant robot bees who could shoot electricity. That’s pretty gnarly. She also eventually becomes a human/insect hybrid, complete with pheromone powers. And then she goes buggy and tries to colonize the entire world bee-style. She retires after that.