We’ve all asked ourselves, “What if…?” at some point in our lives. What if I had gotten that promotion? What if I had asked so-and-so out on a date? What if I hadn’t eaten that all that Taco Bell? How would our lives be different at this moment? It’s a common question that leads either to fanciful daydreams of happy families on private jets with solid gold toilets or a nagging desire to find a support group for abject daydreamers. But the clever chaps at Marvel decided they could save themselves years of therapy – in the comics world, at least – simply by revealing the best (or worst) possible answers to the questions.
The What If…? books make up the strangely prophetic, sometimes gripping, occasionally ridiculous, but always popular series that delves into theoretical universes, assumed outcomes, alternate realities and theater of the absurd to create some amazingly creative storylines in the very limited space of a one-off format. Many of Marvel’s most imaginative – and slightly bent – minds were given free rein explore the possibilities that could exist without confined narratives and longer story arcs – and they ran with it. And what they created, although it periodically misses the mark, is nothing short of a brilliant series of provocative and entertaining glimpses at worlds that could have been. If only.
But let’s not go too crazy here. It ain’t all rose-colored glasses and free hot dogs. While some of the storylines have been so compelling that they’ve been incorporated into the continuity on some level, some of the What If…? comics are just painfully bad (but still fun, somehow). So, consider this your mini-guide to the greatest hits of What If…? The Watcher ain’t watchin’ and your results may vary… a lot. That’s what the comments are for. Feel free to use ‘em liberally.
What If Spider-Man Joined the Fantastic Four? (February 1977)
OK. The main reason this first ish of What If…? is on the list is because, well, it’s first. It serves as the introduction to the format and, to its credit, while the story itself kind of cops out in the end, it’s does provide a credible premise (see: Future Foundation), an entertaining story, and a showcase for some damn fine art from Jim Craig.
What happens? Presented as an alternate reality to the Amazing Spider-Man #1 (1963), the story finds our friendly neighborhood webslinger strapped for cash and tired of being viewed as a public menace. To improve his lot, he approaches the Fantastic Four to apply for a paying gig as a member. Makes perfect sense, right?The team initially rejects his overtures, but they eventually come around and welcome him to the team. With Spidey now in the field and Sue directing from HQ, the new FF proceed to lay smackdowns on the Vulture, Red Ghost and his Super Apes (and, as you know, anything with Super Apes is listworthy). As a result, the wall-crawler finally gets some well-deserved street cred from J. Jonah Jameson and a nice contract and 401K from the team. Everything's smooth sailing!
Not so fast. This is where things get weird. Sub-Mariner, under the control of a vengeful Puppet Master, seduces the Invisible Girl with a magic hypno-fish (you read that correctly) and she appears to be loving it! The new team springs into action and, with the help of a giant, evil octopus (you also read that correctly), the spell is eventually broken. Crisis averted. However, during all the encephalopod chaos, Sue has an epiphany: She realizes she no longer feels vital to the team, that she hates her automaton husband and that she'd be much happier making sea monkeys with Namor. So, she kicks Reed curb adjacent, learns to breathe underwater and stays in the murky depths with her pointy-eared boy-toy. It might seem like a rash decision, but it was the 70s. Mistakes were made. Meanwhile, Reed is feeling dumped on and less than fantastic and Spidey is gripped by regret since he feels responsible for everything. Thankfully, the Human Torch has a sure-fire cure. He pretty much ignores his shattered brother-in-law and tells Spider-Man that it's not his fault. He saw all of this coming and, with or without him, it would've happened anyway. Probably. Spidey agrees. Tender embrace. End Scene.
Wha...? Happened anyway? Magic fish and Super Apes just happen? What does that even mean, and doesn’t it defeat the purpose of a What If…? story? Such an unsatisfying ending to a silly, but fun, story!
Planet Hulk: What If the Hulk Died and Caiera Lived? (December 2007)
This story comes to us from an alternate Planet Hulk reality and is the best of the three-book series which also includes one-shots, What If the Hulk Landed on the Peaceful Planet That Reed Richards Promised? and What If Bruce Banner Had Landed on Sakaar Instead of the Hulk? It features a top-notch story from Greg Pak, killer art from Leonard Kirk and turns on its head the World War Hulk scenario in which the Hulk is banished from Earth by the Illuminati, but returns to avenge the death of his queen, Caiera.
In this version of events, the Hulk throws Caiera – who takes her stone form – to safety and he dies in the explosion of the Illuminati ship that brought him to Sakaar. Needless to say, the Hulk’s death hits the queen pretty hard and she vows to take revenge..
And boy, does the keep her vows! Absorbing Old Power from the planet and loaded for bear, she hops a ship with a small band of the Warbound in tow and heads to Earth in a blind rage. What happens next is sheer carnage. First, she crushes Black Bolt and forces him to drop a flesh-stripping sonic scream on Doctor Strange and Sentry, killing them instantly. She follows up that gem with a thorough ass-kicking of the Fantastic Four, Black Panther, Spider-Man, Storm and a slew of other heroes. She then makes quick work of Reed Richards and throws in a beheading of Iron Man for good measure. At this point, she’s on a roll and is just about to kill everyone on Earth when she’s reminded by one of the Warbound that not only has she run out of guilty people to 86, but if the planet is empty, there’ll be nobody left to honor her fallen king. So, she has a sudden change of heart. Aww… Hulk Love.
The story picks up twenty-one years later and the planet’s population and its superheroes are nothing more than slaves. An enormous statue of the Hulk has been built with their labor and after bidding farewell to her son – li'l' Hulk Jr. – Caiera merges with the statue… for eternity.
C’mon! How great is that?
What If Wolverine Had Killed the Hulk? (February 1982)
We’ve all seen these two go at it before – with spectacular results – and the Hulk always sends a battered and bruised Wolverine home in pieces. (Unless you count the Old Man Logan series in which Hulk gets a really bad case of Wolverine indigestion.) But, what if he didn’t? What if Wolverine finally got the upper hand and killed the Hulk? Well, that’s the premise of this book and it was in good hands with Rick Margopoulos at the typewriter and Transformers vet and one time Marvel editor Bob Budiansky manning the pencils and pens.
In keeping with most What If…? comics, our whiskered hero does not meet a happy ending, but along the way to his ultimate demise there’s a helluva story to be told. It begins with Wolverine on the run from murder charges in the death of the Hulk. Fueled by ego and rage, he kinda goes off his nut and kills an unlucky guy in a bar fight. Wrong place, wrong time. Now, Logan’s not only an outlaw, but a full-fledged evil-doer! Magneto sees his opening and smartly recruits him into the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants and puts our razor-clawed friend on the trail of the X-Men. A double-agent!
Things proceed at a good clip and it looks like Magneto just might have the perfect inside man to finally bring down the X-Men, but at the crucial moment of betrayal, Wolverine – having fallen in love with Jean Grey, as always – decides instead to turn on the metal manipulator and save the day. The ensuing brawl is a brutal classic and results in the death of both Magneto and Wolverine. Exeunt.
What did we learn from this alternate reality? The same thing we did in our last alternate reality: Killing. Hulk. Bad.
What If Venom Had Possessed the Punisher? (December 1992)
Nobody in their right mind would not want this to happen. Venom possessing Punisher is the ultimate embodiment of remorseless nihilism, a combo that would make Nietzsche blush. And the mini arc more than lives up to that hype with a twisty plot penned by Kurt Busiek and some bulked-up art from Luke McDonnell.
This one has all the bells and whistles (and a fair amount of Venom slobber) and begins with Frank Castle encountering the symbiote in the very church where Spider-Man had abandoned it. Sensing his animosity and rage, the alien realizes a good match when it sees it and bonds with Castle who, in return, gets one of the coolest outfit logos in Marvel history. Good start, but here’s where it enters strange territory, because instead of the usual “Venom takes over to wreak unbridled madness and mayhem,” the “partnership” becomes more of a battle for control with both sides recognizing the benefits and pitfalls of bonding with each other.
That’s not to say the Punisher doesn’t become a more powerful and deadly assassin, he does. In fact, he becomes a hybrid vengeance machine. But somehow – perhaps through his strong will and singular drive – Castle is able to show more restraint than previous wearers. Sure, he murders Tombstone, various thugs, and the Kingpin, but despite defeating Daredevil, Spiderman, Typhoid Mary and Moon Knight (who appears for no reason), The Punisher prevents Venom from going that extra mile to Murdertown. He spares them all.
In the end, an inner-battle of wills ensues, pitting Castle against the symbiote with the Punisher emerging as master of his own mind. He controls the suit and he no doubt has some killin’ to do.
This What If…? is definitely worth the read if you can find it and that’s even before you knew about the bullets made from webbing. Yeah, those exist. Why can’t Punisher be Venom all the time?
What if Professor X Had Become Juggernaut? (May 1990)
We all know that in the regular Marvel universe Cain Marko – while on assignment in Korea with his step-brother Charles Xavier – finds the Gem of Cyttorak in a cave, grabs it, becomes the Juggernaut and is promptly buried in a collapse. But what if it was Professor X who went all steamroller? This is an absolute genius premise and so much happens in the book that it’s hard to break it down without giggling with delight. And why not, when there’s a telepathic wrecking ball, sibling rivalry and betrayal, loads of ass-kicking and an all-out nuclear war?
So, let’s begin at the beginning. As a result of his juggenautty experience, a rock-entombed Professor X never forms the X-Men and, as a result, Magneto is free to destroy humans-mutant relations. He makes San Marco a nation/haven for mutants who he then molds into an army to crush humankind. But the best laid plans never seem to work out in What If...? land. Sure enough, seeing this transpire in his still powerful mind, Juggernaut X emerges from the rubble of the cave… and boy he is pissed!
He quickly goes public and declares himself to the world as the protector of all mutants. He makes quick work of Magneto, takes away the powers of the Fantastic Four and the Hulk, puts Captain America back on ice, makes Tony Stark an alcoholic (a nice touch) and puts a beat down on Doctor Doom. As you would expect, the world freaks out and decides a great solution would be to respond with nuclear weapons without really thinking it through. See, they kinda forgot that radiation creates more mutants. A mutant population boom ensues, and soon they are running the show!
Now, some mutants are digging the whole ruling the world thing and some aren’t. Those who aren’t – including Cyclops, Jean Grey and Quicksilver – team up with Marko and lure Juggernaut to Magneto’s old, low-Earth orbit stomping grounds of Asteroid M. Caught unaware, JuggerX is launched into space for eternity with an energy blast. Problem solved... or is it? Realizing that there’s much work to do to restore the world to balance, the separatist mutants vow to band together to heal the planet! Cue: "We Are the World."
Are ya havin’ that story?
What If the Punisher Had Killed Daredevil? (June 1991)
This might be one of the more bummer issues of the series. Why? Because dying. A lot of it. And not just Daredevil. You’re right, there’s dying in a lot of the What If…? comics, but it really (and quite literally) hits home in this little gem of destruction written by Busiek.
This tale starts on a rooftop with Punisher popping Daredevil with a tranquilizer dart. Woozy, the horned one passes-out and falls to his death on the pavement below. Even though Frank Castle didn’t intend to kill anyone (for a change), when word gets back to Spider-Man, he blows his stack and vows to avenge his friend. When he finds the Punisher, Spidey gets shot and ends up the hospital where he is unmasked, his true identity is revealed to the world. Not a great start to vengeance! What else could possibly go wrong?
Everything. With his name now out there and his home easier to find than a cat picture on the interwebs, Spider-Man's whole world is in peril! Cover your eyes if you don't want to see what happens next. With this new info, Silvermane promptly dispatches some heavy hitters over to Aunt May’s house to send a message to the wall-crawler… with a bazooka. BOOM! Scratch one Aunt May. Nooooo!
But it doesn't end there. With Peter Parker still in a coma and Punisher on the run from the cops (and various superheroes), Kingpin realizes it’s the ideal time to consolidate his power. He starts offing politicians, buying politicians, offing crime bosses, buying crime bosses. He's a human wrecking ball, eliminating anyone in his way. Oh, and if that weren't enough, he decides to tell Peter Parker about his beloved aunt’s meeting with the angels. That's a Jedi mind trick from the King, right there.
And just like he drew it up, a recovered and raging Peter attacks the Punisher and very nearly kills him! Until he doesn’t. Thwacka. Thwacka. Thwacka. Scratch one Webhead. Nooooo (again)! Angry that he was set up to kill, Castle turns his ire on Kingpin! But in his weakened state he's no match for the Boss and he quickly gets his throat crushed. SNAP! Scratch one Punisher. Kingpin wins! Or does he? Still flush with pride at his easy victories, Kingpin soon realizes that Castle has rigged his building with explosives and... KABLOOEY! Scratch one Kingpin.
Not much to complain about with that bloody plot, right? But why Aunt May? That's just cold-blooded.
What if Captain America Were Revived Today? (April 1984)
Although set in the 1980s, the feel of this cautionary tale by Peter Gillis/Sal Buscema is amazingly contemporary (if only it had more tweeting) and doesn’t come off as dated in the least. The plot itself revolves around unchecked nationalism, rampant fear and isolationist leanings; themes that can be found on just about every opinion site on the computerized webulator. So, even though we’ve already seen one version of this premise play out in the MCU, this story offers up an original What If…? take.
In this alternate timeline, Namor never discovers our frozen star-spangled hero in the 60s and he is forced to stay in the beer cooler for another twenty years. In the meantime, many world events unfold, including the inevitable rise of Communism (which, apparently, happens in every timeline). So, in 1972, when President Nixon makes a historic trip Red China, it's no wonder that an anonymous American gets a touch jingoistic and decides the time is now for the triumphant return of Cap and Bucky to stave off the “Red Menace” and take America back! To make it happen, he infiltrates a super-secret bunker and frees the two heroes from suspended animation. But the joke is on him, because these guys aren’t the true article – remember, the real Captain America is still an Otter Pop – but 1950s replacements used for propaganda and then placed in suspended animation. What ever will happen?
Well, not much initially. America is thrilled to have their heroes back and, to their credit, fake Cap and Bucky put on a good show. But while their popularity soars, the adoring crowd misses the darker side of this devious dynamic duo. It seems Fake-Cap’s got a McCarthy-sized case of “Red Fever” and, fearing a Commie takeover, he starts campaigning for the “First Party” – an extreme organization in favor of identity cards, expelling foreigners and instituting martial law. Sounds kinda scary (and strangely familiar), but with Captain America’s smiling face behind it, the agenda is hailed and passes with ease.
Flash to 1983, a submarine finally finds the real Cap’n and takes him on board. After thawing him out – and some confusion as to whether or not he’s a Nazi – they realize it's the REAL Captain America and they rush him back to the imperiled US of A! Ol' Cap can’t believe what he sees: Races divided, cities walled off, armed guards on every corner. This isn’t his America! So, he joins the resistance led by J. Jonah Jameson, Nick Fury, Snap Wison (as a revolutionary, not the Falcon) and a fully-armed Spider-Man, and together they beat back the phony Captain America and fracture the “Firster” cabal! An impassioned patriotic speech ensues and then everyone sings “America the Beautiful.” Thusly, America reclaims its greatness!
How’s that for a ripping good tale? Salute it if you can find it.
What If the Avengers Had Become Pawns of Korvac? (April 1982)
They should’ve gotten it over with and just called this one, What If the Entire Universe Was Destroyed? If violence and wanton destruction are your thing (and let’s be honest here, they are) then this is the What If…? for you. Created by the clever team of Mark Grunewald and Greg LaRoque, the story hinges on the crucial moment when Carina (of Guardians of the Galaxy fame) has to decide whether to support her wickedly powerful and psychologically bent boyfriend, Korvac, in his fight against the Avengers. In the original, she hesitates, and a lovesick Korvac completely abandons his plans. In this version of events, she embraces the idea of whoop-ass and Korvac proceeds with his twisted plot for control of the universe.
OK, for the few of you who are unfamiliar with Korvac, he’s a cyborg who’s obsessed with bringing his version of order to the ‘Verse. He’s cataloged information throughout time and space, can absorb energy from many different sources – including human ones – and his intelligence, weapons and defenses are off the charts. In short, he’s about as powerful a badass as you’ll find anywhere. It’s this force that awaits the Avengers... and just about every other entity in the universe and beyond.
So, what does Korvac do, exactly? Well, he starts by precluding interference from the gods by sealing off the universe and then he banishes Doctor Strange, Phoenix and other powerful heroes from the fight. He quickly mops the floor with the Avengers and resurrects them as his pawns (hence, the title) to track and repel other attacking entities. That’s a good start, but he’s nowhere close to being done. Nope. He then goes after The Watcher. Bad idea.
Not one to let talk of assassination pass without punishment, The Watcher assembles a scary strong team of enforcers (including Galactus, the Shaper of Worlds and the In-Betweener) to check Korvac into the Roach Motel. But, Korvac has become so strong that he’s laying everyone to waste with ease! The moon gets destroyed, the sun goes supernova and heroes and world-eaters are dropping like flies.
As a last resort, The Watcher puts together an armada of ships from across the universe to put this charade to an end and restore peace. But Korvac – absorbing all the remaining energy he can lay his hands on – grows to planetary size and whips out his handy Ultimate Nullifier! The Watcher tries to strike a bargain, but The K-Man is having none of it… and he fires. All… becomes… nothing.
It don’t get much more destructive than that! Total nullification, baby! Enjoy it on a sunny day.
What If Cable Had Destroyed the X-Men?/What If Magneto Took Over the USA? (February/March 1993)
This Busiek/Tod Smith two-part joint tells the story of what would go down if the X-Men fractured into warring factions. Not really that hard to imagine, is it? All in all, it’s a crackin’ good tale of betrayal and fragile redemption in a cruel world that happens to have a nuclear arsenal at its disposal. So, let’s begin.
Professor X returns from a sabbatical to discover that human-mutant relations have deteriorated and mutant-mutant relations are downright Real Housewives. And what does he do about it? He immediately gets into a shouting match with Cable! An uncharacteristically bad start. Cable doesn't like games. Cable is stubborn. So, Cable promptly explodes Xavier, Jean and Cyclops with a siren bomb as his final rebuttal. This closing argument doesn’t go over well with any of the X-Men, but they are divided as to how to proceed. One side, led by Storm, wants to bring Cable to justice. The other side, led by Wolverine (not surprisingly), wants to put Cable’s head on a pike and parade it through the streets. Is there a happy medium?
Nope. Both teams pursue their objectives in the midst of pandemonium and eventually Wolverine Justice prevails and Cable is whacked like a Mob boss. But after that brief moment of common purpose comes a period of absolute discord. Mutants are fighting mutants and with no heroes out there to fill the void left by Professor X, Magneto seizes the day! Intent upon gaining the Oval Office and America, Magneto and his army defeat the Fantastic Four AND the Avengers and take Washington, DC. But the glow of victory is short. The deposed president – with a failsafe executive order – releases a fleet of Sentinels to eliminate all mutants and “powered” individuals (think, Days of Future Past). Not good.
They don’t fully succeed, but they do drop a considerable amount of hardwood on the mutant/hero population. Fantastic Four? Gone. Archangel and Havoc? Dead as Dillinger. And, as the mutant world collapses around him, Magneto – full of his usual bluster – accidentally explodes Washington with nuclear weapons. Not his finest hour.
In the end, all that is left is Wolverine and a random band of mutants, including Ice Man and La Bandera. Seeking to regroup and rebuild, they wander the earth like Caine in Kung-Fu. Do you need a drink after that one? See you at the bar.
What If the Avengers Fought the Kree-Skrull War Without Rick Jones? (April 1980)
This is it! The number one What If…? mini-arc. The Watcher outdid himself on this one, and it is glorious. The “real” Kree-Skrull War was crazy enough to begin with, so what could the team of Tom DeFalco and Alan Kuppergerg possibly add to the mix? Well, it’s not what they added, but what they removed: Rick Jones’ beautiful brain. In the original story – some would say the greatest Avengers story ever told – Jones is captured by free Kree radical Ronan the Accuser (also of Guardians of the Galaxy fame) and is used as a weapon against the Skrull. Using the Destiny Force, Jones unleashes an army of Golden Age superheroes to subdue the Skrull and end the war. In this What If..? ‘Verse, however, Ronan lacks patience (as Ronan does) and scratches Rick Jones like a cue ball. No Rick Jones, no superhero onslaught. As a result, the Skrull start kicking some major ass and threaten Earth’s very existence with, you guessed it, nuclear weapons (again). Who will save the day?
Professor X, that’s who! With sweat beading on his glorious bald head, he summons the entire Marvel Universe – both good and evil – to descend upon the Skrull and turn the tide. Doctor Doom fights arm-in-arm with Iron Man! And boy do they make it count! Nobody puts baby in the corner and points nukes at her!
As the tide turns in favor of the Super Marvel Team-Up, things are collapsing around both alien races. Infighting, coups and petty jealousies abound as leadership crumbles. Resistance becomes more and more futile and fates are sealed. The Kree and Skrull see the writing on the wall, call a truce and get the hell outta Dodge. The war is over. No Rick Jones needed.
Nothing like a happy ending… unless you happen to be Ronan the Accuser. He’s not happy. Then again, when is he? But he’ll be back. Just not this day.